Baby Free Night Out

I am sitting here with a cup of coffee nursing my tired self while the child sleeps. I didn't get home until midnight last night and didn't get to bed until 1am because I was rocking the Dolly Parton look and had to take the edge off my boobs! There was no way I was waking up Dylan who was fast asleep so pumping for an hour with a cup of tea it was.

I had such a great night last night with my friends Otis and Ste. I'm sure they won't mind me mentioning them and discussing our evening!

There is a reason I am willing to divulge our night on the tiles in relation to my life as a mum!

Otis, Ste and I started our teacher teacher training together 3 years ago. We bonded over our love of pints in the student union and insisting we stop talking about work when socialising. We went to the pub and became really close friends.

The boys are in their final week of their summer holidays so we were able to catch up on a school night!

Throughout the afternoon yesterday, I tried to get ready at various points. It was at each of those opportunities that Dylan decided to be a pain in the arse and stop me from doing anything. (Sorry if you ever read this wee man but I wont take back my comment because it is true 😂). This meant when Tom came home from work, I had to run like a nutcase to get ready in 20 minutes and run for my train.

I am hoping the boys will confirm that I didn't look too bad considering how quickly i straightened my hair, threw on some clothes and make up and jog/walked to the station to head into Manchester

Now to the point of connecting this post to my child. Every time I have left the baby with anyone recently he has had a full blown meltdown and then calmed down when I've come home. He seems to just want me and when he realises I'm not there her freaks out. It doesn't seem to make a difference who it is he's left with as he's done it with my mum, his godmother and Tom. I find it really difficult and feel horribly guilty leaving the house.

I also find it very frustrating because, as most people will vouch for me, I am not precious over my child at all. When we are with others I am always giving him to people to hold and cuddle to develop his social skills and help him to be more comfortable with others.

Last night it took me a while to relax and relinquish my motherly duties. After a gin, a bottle of wine and a pizza I was much happier about being out with my friends. I felt a bit bad because when I called Tom to check in the baby was in the process of screaming his way through a bottle. However, when Tom text me to tell me that the baby was asleep and settled I felt much better and was able to relax a little.

For the record, Dylan will, reluctantly, take a bottle well and has done since he was 6 weeks old. He just associates it with me not being there so he isn't a huge fan.

Although things were difficult, I had a wonderful night with lots of laughter. Otis, Ste and I spent the evening reminiscing about uni life, giving the boys a detailed insight into child birth and playing snog, marry, avoid and would you rather in non-sober state of mind. I enjoyed some adult company to just be myself and have a laugh with my friends!

We were very well behaved and all got our respective last trains home. I had the 4am feed to look forward to after all and my boobs were killing me so it was my curtain call at 11:30

Although I had a class night, I am still trying to get the balance right between staying home for the sake of an easier and quieter life and having some space.

If am selfish and do head out I am subjecting Tom to a meltdown baby but I need to look after my own mental health and wellbeing to make sure I perform at my best as mum to my Velcro baby.

Any tips for helping baby settle for others would be appreciated.

The thought of leaving him crying and him crying himself to sleep or falling asleep without me makes me really sad. We are due to leave Velcro with his grandparents for a few nights while we go to Cornwall and I am dreading the state he will get himself in for 3 days. His Nana is a fantastic lady and she, along with his grandpa, will adore spending quality time with him. I would like to point out that I am not at all concerned about their ability to look after my baby but I am concerned about his behaviour when left without me. I know he is still so small but we are so looking forward to our time together so taking iccle pickle with us is NOT an option!

Gin from Allotment in the Norther Quarter and pizza and wine from Ply make everything better though! Thanks to them for putting up with our merry antics :)

Although this is the case, the mum guilt is real.

Have a picture of my tired but merry face at 1 o'clock this morning because although I am tired, I am happy.

Thanks for reading!

Lots of Love,

Theresa